Control your mind, do not let it controls you.

Hello my note, it's almost two months since my last post. I'm sorry I haven't "talk" to you, I'm not forgetting you. There're many things happened since last month so I can't post new story, although bunch of ideas popping inside my brain. It's looks like there's one thing that, probably, affect my passion to write beside my mood. It is about my mind itself.
Mind is a powerful thing. Most of our action is controlled by our mind, either conscious or unconscious mind (please correct me if it's wrong). I'll not tell about mind in detail because it's not my major education but I just want to share my experience with my "mind", of course it's related about my motivation to write.
I've motivate myself to start writing since I created this blog. Sharing is the reason of my passion to write. I was a person who always keep my problem, I never told it to anybody. Until I start to put all of my feeling in my phone, keep it as a note. At first, it's seems funny. Write a diary, in my opinion, is activity for a girl. However, something comes up in my mind. Alright I'll stop the intermezzo here, we'll back to the topic "mind".
I thought, something that appears before, is the visualization of what I kept. How come? I was used to be a reserved. Sharing is the last option for me at the time. But now, I realized one thing. My mind told me that it is not good for you to hide anything by yourself. It'll harm you sooner or later. Thus, the activity which I do now is the results of my unconscious mind as my self-defense mechanism to reduce the pain that I will suffer (wahaha, overly exaggerated expression).
Mind is complex. Even a mastermind, I guess, works harder to master it. To all of my friend, watch out with your mind. Control your  mind, do not let it controls you.
(By the way, my mind still control me to stop write more as if it can worsen my writing.

Greed, Dream, and to be Well-Prepared

Hello my note, it's my first post in June, welcome June, wish the best for all of us in this new month. Well, first of all, I'd like to say my apologize to the reader because in this post, I'll give something unusual (in my opinion though, well it's up to the readers, after all we have different opinion) related to my experience. Probably incorrect, it's related to the result of my activity of "thinking overly".
I've thought that most people, aim to be better, in all aspects. In other words, to be better, at this point, one will struggle at their fullest, strive to be the best until he/she reaches the top. However, there's some negative opinion from several people, including me.
It's a human-being to have a dream, thirst for a dream, achieve your dream, because it must be a corpse if one does not have have this trait. This also happened in my surrounding, and even in all places in the world. But one thing that I dislike the most is how they permit to do all things, even the worst things, to make their dream come true. Dishonesty, corruption, betrayal are the colors of their drawing book of life. Forgetting their pure dream, turn it into a dusty dream, and it's meaningless.
Further, the higher the achievement, the higher also their care toward their precious people. I'm not saying that all people tend to do this but at least, a minority of people commit such a pathetic act. Think about, for example, your parents that sacrifice themselves to raise you, and when you success, you forget them, not care about their daily needs, and even ignore them. Actually, I'm not a perfect child also, but I wrote this for my reflection so that it'll not happen to me, I'll do it. I knew that most of parents only wish the best for their children, but please, "pay your debt" to them, even a little is no problem, it's more than enough.
These examples are the sign that one is not ready to be a winner. There's one thing that they miss in their struggle to be the best. It's a matter of preparation. I thought they will not do that if they prepare anything such as a positive will, nice attitude, and keep praying. In my opinion, one of the criteria to be a victor is to be well-prepared to face anything in the future.

Weirdo, Birthday, and Prayers

No matter how weird you are, still, you have some, even a little, people that will pray for your success in your birthday. Be grateful, because you will miss a moment when someone you care the most is unable to wish you happy birthday. However, don't let the sadness swallow you. The shadow isn't always related to darkness, you'll still see the light in the shadow and it will be a shelter to you. Thanks to all people who pray for my success either directly to me, or even pray in silence, you are all treasure to me, an irreplaceable treasure, for sure.

Being a Weirdo is a Talent, it is not an Option

Hello again my note, I'm sorry I didn't tell my story to you during these weeks recently. I'd like to write something but my will isn't strong enough to beat the villain (oh well, I'm not a hero anyway). Hey, isn't that last phrase is sounds weird, I mean talking or responding to my own words? Well, what's the point of doing that? Are you really ok to do that? Why you do such a weird thing?
Alright, my friends, mostly, asking me these questions often. I was only laughing at the time and I said that perhaps I'm the one who is very normal among all of my classmate, however, one of them said that "yeah you're extremely normal in the way you've tried to become a completely-normal" person.
Actually, I have no problem to be asked by such question because I was used to be asked by the same question in my past. I thought that was all of experience (hey, isn't it too short??), and the teaching point in this note is the one that you can read in the title of this post, thanks for being a reader to my absurd story, have a nice day ^^

The More The Quieter

Most of event, for example party, sleepover, camping, etc, will be more enjoyable if there are more people gathered in one place. It is obvious that certain agenda, with just only a few people, is not quite exciting. They want to have fun with each other, laughing, enjoy the food, talking, and much more activity that can be done with many people. They said that "the more, the merrier". However, this phrases is not really match with me.

 I'm not interested to follow an activity with more people. It is not about dislike the people, the agenda, and the place. It is because I find myself fun to have an activity in pairs. Beside my introvert character, here are my "stRangers" reasons of why I prefer pair activity to group activity.

1. Change myself into a statue

People knew that most (not all) introvert will be a statue in a group activity. That is also happened to me, I will act passively as an observer.  However, as I previously stated, I'm not hate the people, I just want to observe everything they did as my references of how to act in many people. 

2. Fair? 

 When I have a chat with more than one person, sometimes I felt that the chat is not fair. I mean, when I talked with one person, I felt kind of guilty to let one person just observe our chatting and I'm just worried that this person will be ignored. Or, is this happened because I'm worried too much?

3. Closer

Do not confused if my friends will see my other self if they are talk with me in pairs. I will act as the listener, often asks them personally, sharing thoughts, and everything that they can't see it if we have a chat in group. I want to build a closer relation by talking like this, it is more enjoyable and I can get many positive things from my speaking partner. I'll turn myself into a childish person, and of course as a "watcher", if I have a chat in group.

For the prior reasons, the thing that I got is one should act appropriately in an appropriate time, place, and in front of appropriate person. Good luck for myself and for the great readers to spare their time to read my note.